Negativity & Judgement

I was musing the other day about the word ‘negativity’ upon the spiritual path. I’ve often heard it said that we should steer clear of ‘this’, ‘that’ or ‘another’, because of the ‘bad vibes’ that are given off. Initially when we start tuning in (to ourselves) and paying attention to our intuition, the psychic element of the root chakra demonstrates to us the nature of duality. We are often presented with situations that we perceive as being black and white in their nature – should I stay or should I go? –  it is our basic fundamental instinct of fight or flight. It is the building block of a foundation where we are beginning to learn to trust whether our instincts are in fact ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

 

Initially, as we are growing and learning to trust our instincts the action of fleeing from that which we fear gives us the space in which to feel safe and secure so that we can begin to recognise and address what our fears really are.  It is wonderful to be amongst like-minded people and calm environments which support our growth; a loving environment is nurturing, enabling us to flourish so that we begin to develop firmer foundations based upon self-awareness. We may then get to the point where we see that it isn’t always practical to avoid what we may see as the ‘bad vibes’; this is the real world, ‘like it or lump it’. We may wish for a better world, one full of bright, vibrant, fairy-tale colours and happy ever afters, but how can we attain this if our own perception is framed in black and white?

 

As trust in ourselves is gained, we may then attempt to remain a little more open to situations and to see a little deeper into them and often when we do we may see the reflection of ourselves standing there in another, naked and exposed! It can be rather scary when we see ourselves in the mirror of others and our first reaction can be to scapegoat the responsibility for our own thinking, onto others. Taking responsibility for our own stuff isn’t easy. Blaming is.

 

The things that we say, the things that we write about (such as this) are so telling of where we are at, at the time, if we take the time to look at ourselves and what we are in fact trying to tell ourselves.  We can so often be talking to ourselves, if we would only listen.  ‘I hate violence’ could be telling us of our repressed anger which exists inside which given the ‘right’ circumstances could potentially fuel our own anger, if not violence.  If we walked more than a mile in another’s moccasins – let alone a life-time – perhaps we would do the same as that which we judge another for. And perhaps we have done the same, only we really don’t like to admit it to ourselves –  ouch!

 

There comes a time when standing our ground and not fleeing in fear can help us to own the uncomfortable aspects within us that are mirrored back to us by the situations that we find ourselves in, and the people that surround us. Taking responsibility for the way that we choose to see things, and the reality that we can create for ourselves by shifting our perception of something can open up whole new experiences and levels of understanding, both of ourselves and those around us. How liberating it is when we can choose to love someone and accept them, rather than react to them with negativity! When we get into our bodies fully, instead of the blissful space of denial which often exists ten foot above our heads we can really begin to feel how our judgements uses up so much energy, it is a very uncomfortable, exhausting place! And perhaps the one that we judge the most is really our self, we may be ‘not good enough, not worthy’ etc

 

The emphasis of the word ‘negativity’ can say more about the person whose mouth utters it and how they experience something, than it does about anyone or anything else around us. Yet, how many times do we take things, that other’s say, personally and react defensively? It is wonderful to be able to detach from this drama, to just listen to someone else’s opinion as being just that. Knowing that this is just how they view the world or any situation, scenario or person from their perspective is amazing – it is the way that they are seeing things and it can say so much about them, so from our perspective can we ever really say that we are right? Their opinion may differ, we may never really know what it is truly like for them, or saying about them. We can only come back to ourselves and notice what our reactions are and what those reactions and thoughts say about ourselves, which ultimately helps us to access our deeper being. 

 

How often is the word ‘negative’ ever used with the accompaniment of love from our being? I think it is rare, if not virtually impossible.  It can be banded around with an attitude of blame attached, rather than one of understanding. How does that make the one who is judged feel? Perhaps on the receiving end of a self-fulfilling prophecy, that the world really is a bad place and people can’t be trusted. And how does the one who does the judging feel? Not loving, not peaceful and not harmonious, it can be very uncomfortable when we begin to recognise the energy of that within ourselves.

 

As I was musing I watched an imaginary scenario unfold in my mind of the Dalai Lama making a cross with his fingers saying to someone ‘get away from me, you’re too negative’. It was amusing, because it would, I imagine, be out of character for someone who seems such a peaceful, calm man.  Rather, I feel that in that sort of situation if he found himself judging he might endeavour to check in with his own reactions and to find out what button that person was pushing within himself. I iamgine he would take responsibility for his own emotions, his own negative feelings and his own judgement. And so can we all. By checking in with ourselves,  it can  ultimately tell us more about the ties that bind us to a perception which is narrow, fearful and constricting, rather than one which is joyous and liberating. By listening to what we say (and re-reading what we write). Exactly what are we trying to tell ourselves?